sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize