Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
