Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
