take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Randomize
