Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
