mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
