i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
please come you make the beer taste better
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
