is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
