it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
