Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
