HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Plan B is the new Plan A
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize