i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
