So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
