He is an equal opportunity slut.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
