And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I enjoy the company of your penis
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
