That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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