I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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