I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
