is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
this boner is exhausting
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
