Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
