You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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