just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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