He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
