I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
