Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize