Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
