Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
