Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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