he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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