I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
