hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Your penis caused this!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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