lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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