is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
