I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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