I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
