i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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