sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize