I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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