69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
