i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
