i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
