"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
what day is it and did you see me today?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
