do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
