Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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