I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
