I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
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