Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
