Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize