No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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