he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
