How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
