WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize