Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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