Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
