bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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