We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
