I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
