you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
