Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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