Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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