i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize