wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
