i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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